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For Dog Psychologists: Connecting With Your Client's Emotional State
Clients convey a great deal about their feelings by their tone of voice, the words they use to describe things, and their facial and body language. In client-centered counseling, these facts are of central importance - they are tools for motivating owners.
During initial fact-finding interviews, you must bear in mind that clients do not contact you just because they think or hope you can help. This is only the intellectual portion of the picture. Most seek professional help because they are emotionally upset. This is their motivation.
This is also why many initial contacts with clients contain all the trappings of a grievance interview about the pet. The client feels any of the full range of emotions, and may even display some of them. At this stage, it may seem a waste of time to listen to what appears to be irrational, often unrelated elements of a problem. However, the fact that the client mentions them makes them relevant. So, we must ascribe importance to this information. We also have to ask questions that assure the client that we are genuinely interested in them.
The client may say, "When I got home and saw pieces of that pillow strewn all over the house, I could have killed the little bastard." Or, "When I saw that pillow torn to shreds, I wanted to sit down and cry." These statements tell us a great deal about the client's feelings at the time of homecoming, but nothing about what they did.
Two elements of counseling must be applied to each statement:
1. The client needs to know that we understand their feelings, through our responses, such as, "I can appreciate that," or "That's understandable".
2. We must know what the client did about their feelings of mayhem or despair. The client often describes his or her actions without rationalizing if you have effectively communicated your empathy. An open-ended, non-leading, follow up question is called for, such as, "What did you do then?"
If you are lucky enough to develop an idea of both the client's general behavior and attitude, all is well. More often, however, we'll get an earful about the dog's behavior, which is also useful, of course. It is unwise to call the client's attention to their tendency to focus on the pet. Instead, you should merely rephrase the query about what the client did, after acknowledging the dog's behavioral response. For example, "I can see how you felt. What were you doing then?" This accomplishes two things: It provides operational descriptions of what happened, and it helps establish an initial degree of rapport between counselor and client.
For Dog Psychologists: Connecting With Your Client's Emotional State
Clients convey a great deal about their feelings by their tone of voice, the words they use to describe things, and their facial and body language. In client-centered counseling, these facts are of central importance - they are tools for motivating owners.
During initial fact-finding interviews, you must bear in mind that clients do not contact you just because they think or hope you can help. This is only the intellectual portion of the picture. Most seek professional help because they are emotionally upset. This is their motivation.
This is also why many initial contacts with clients contain all the trappings of a grievance interview about the pet. The client feels any of the full range of emotions, and may even display some of them. At this stage, it may seem a waste of time to listen to what appears to be irrational, often unrelated elements of a problem. However, the fact that the client mentions them makes them relevant. So, we must ascribe importance to this information. We also have to ask questions that assure the client that we are genuinely interested in them.
The client may say, "When I got home and saw pieces of that pillow strewn all over the house, I could have killed the little bastard." Or, "When I saw that pillow torn to shreds, I wanted to sit down and cry." These statements tell us a great deal about the client's feelings at the time of homecoming, but nothing about what they did.
Two elements of counseling must be applied to each statement:
1. The client needs to know that we understand their feelings, through our responses, such as, "I can appreciate that," or "That's understandable".
2. We must know what the client did about their feelings of mayhem or despair. The client often describes his or her actions without rationalizing if you have effectively communicated your empathy. An open-ended, non-leading, follow up question is called for, such as, "What did you do then?"
If you are lucky enough to develop an idea of both the client's general behavior and attitude, all is well. More often, however, we'll get an earful about the dog's behavior, which is also useful, of course. It is unwise to call the client's attention to their tendency to focus on the pet. Instead, you should merely rephrase the query about what the client did, after acknowledging the dog's behavioral response. For example, "I can see how you felt. What were you doing then?" This accomplishes two things: It provides operational descriptions of what happened, and it helps establish an initial degree of rapport between counselor and client.
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